Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter

Let thy soul delight in thy husband.
D&C 25:14

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4,5

I love the book Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter. There are so many pearls of wisdom within it's pages! As a result of a recent Relief Society lesson that I taught, the theme that I was looking for this time around was family form, specifically as it relates to me as a wife and mother.

Mrs Stanton is an excellent example. She is amazing in her devotion to her family and her husband. She keeps a beautiful home, is beautiful, and well learned. She is a joy and a comfort to her husband. A perfect example of what Proverbs 31, Titus 2 and Doctrine and Covenants 25 all are talking about. Because “the heart of her husband” can safely trust her, he values her opinion and listens to her when she puts “her foot down – flat- most unmercifully flat (p.397)”. For example, when Leon has disappeared and the money is gone.

Father started to say something, and mother held up her hand and just said, “Paul!” and he sank back in the chair and kept still. Mother always had spoken of him as “the Head of the Family,” and here he wasn't at all! He minded her quickly as I would. (p. 173)

Contrast that with Mrs. Pryor. Mrs. Pryor spends the entire story a sickly victim, blaming her husband and worrying about her son. At the end of the story, Mr. Pryor has just had a stroke after coming to try to shoot his own son for supposedly stealing his money. Mrs. Pryor doesn't even want to see him or seem to care how he is. Little Sister says, “I guess the biggest thing the matter with the Pryors was that they didn't know how to go about loving each other right: maybe it was because they didn't love God, so they couldn't know exactly what proper love was: because God is love, like father said. (p.394)” Without biblical principles in their marriage, the Pryors are a good example of bad family form. Mrs. Pryor's sadness and family problems were just as much her fault as Mr. Pryor's.

After all Mrs. Pryor didn't need to sit back on her dignity and look so abused. He couldn't knock her down, and drag her clear here. Why didn't she say right out, in the beginning, that her son couldn't be a thief, that she knew it, and she'd stay at home and wait for him to come back? She could have put a piece in the paper saying she knew her boy was all right, and for him to come back, so they could go to work to prove it. I bet if she'd had one tenth of the ginger mother has, she'd have stopped the whole fuss in the start. I looked at her almost steadily, trying to figure out just what mother would have done in her place. Maybe I'm mistaken about exactly how she would have set to work, but this I know: she'd have stuck to the Lord; she'd have loved father, so dearly, he just couldn't have wanted her to do the things that hurt her until it gave her heart trouble; and she never, never would have given up one of us, and sat holding her heart for months, refusing to see of to speak to any one, while she waited for some one else to do something. Mother never waits. She always things a minute, if she's in doubt she asks father; if he can't decide, both of them ask God' and then you ought to see thing begin to fly (p. 395).

Many people are turned off by the scriptures that use words like obey and submit when referring to a wife's role. They erroneously equate these scriptures with a Mrs. Pryor-like wife, a victim to be used by her husband. Mrs. Pryor was a doormat, she was not obedient or submissive. She may have gone along with Mr. Pryor in body (she did move to the states with him) but she did not submit her will to his and he knew it. They were not united and they did not have a good marriage. The Stanton's, on the other hand, had a marriage based on biblical principles and it was marriage worth working for. Mrs. Stanton said, “To be a good wife and mother is the end toward which I aspire. To hold the respect and love of my husband is the greatest object of my life (p. 289).” Compare the power and influence of the two women, I'll stick with Mrs. Stanton and Lord's way of family form.