Happiness

My thoughts upon reading Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics book I and Plato's The Republic book VII - Allegory of the Cave


As I have made my journey through life, I have often felt like a prisoner in Plato's allegorical cave blinking in a ridiculous manner when presented with too much light all at once. And I have, more than a few times, after having received some light, tried to help my fellow prisoners escape the dark only to quickly discover that they aren't ready for that much light all at once. One truth that these experiences have taught me is that most virtues, talents, habits and other good things are simply skills. They are skills that almost anyone can master if we choose to master them. We can only work as fast as our eyes can adjust to the light, but with consistent effort we can keep moving toward more light and knowledge. Happiness is one such virtue that I have been seeking.



My journey towards happiness began eight years ago. My husband had just graduated with his master's degree in computer engineering and had gotten a “real” job. We bought a cute little house with a large lot and I quit my career as a dental hygienist to stay at home with our two kids and to “live happily ever after.” It turns out that I had no idea what that even meant.

Aristotle teaches that happiness is being engaged in virtuous action and contemplation and that other exterior things can add to that happiness.

Virtuous action. Hmmm. That is a bit different than the definition of happiness I got growing up. I had learned that I would be happy when.... When I got to high school I would be happy. When I got out of high school and started college, then I would be happy. Then I would be happy when I graduated from college. Then I would be happy when I got married, then when I had a baby, then when the baby grew up and moved out.... Pop culture didn't teach anything about virtuous action either. No sir. I learned from pop culture that to be happy was to be entertained – no working allowed.



There I was having achieved my dream of not having to “work” anymore and I should have been the happiest person alive. It turned out that I was not happy. I was bored and confused. I started searching for something, anything. Sheer desperation led me to the local library. (I hadn't been in one of those for years!)

From that little library, I brought home scads of books on all kinds of topics. I filled our home with way too much light that left the whole family blinking. I tore up that back yard and grew all kinds of food. I read a few books about dairy goats and brought home a pregnant Nigerian Dwarf goat. She was beautiful, but I should have read about goat fencing first.



I read books about home birthing and our third child was born in a blow up swimming pool in our bedroom. I incubated duck eggs and ALL 15 hatched into healthy little ducklings. There was definitely a lot of ACTION at our place, but we were still missing something. Then my husband and I went to a seminar called Face-to-Face with Greatness and gained a community to help me on this journey.



Aristotle also said that happiness “needs external goods as well; for it is impossible, or not easy, to do noble acts without the proper equipment.” The best external good in my life is my dear husband who always allows me the freedom to learn and try new things while keeping me grounded with his steadiness and careful nature. Community is a close second. We appreciate those wonderful people we met at the Face-to-Face seminar, and many others, who have helped us learn things like proper family form and how to find and live true principles. I will be forever grateful to them for teaching and modeling proper family form so I could come to appreciate my husband and allow him to function in his role as leader in our home while I learned to function more fully in my role as wife and mother.



The one point I disagree slightly with Aristotle on is his idea that sleep has no share in human excellence. While it is true sleep is not unique to humans, I have found it to be an essential element in my own excellence. In fact, sleep was the missing element I was searching for. I have had the virtuous actions and the external goods for a long time, but recently the baby began sleeping through the night and I am HAPPY!